Pocket money/allowance

[flossybeth]

Not sure if this should be here or in Money & Finance.

 

Anyway: our children are currently 14, 13 & 10 and we've used various methods over the years to reward them for good behaviour and more recently we've used a Chore Chart where different chores have a different monetary value and they receive their pocket money weekly based on the chores they've done (and ticked). However, it's time for bit of a shake-up - there are chores on the chart that I now expect them to just do (given their ages) like unpacking their lunch boxes and drink bottles or putting their dirty laundry into the basket and a few that I'd like to introduce - such as helping to make tea time (or just actually making it), keeping their bathroom wiped over, that kind of thing - to help them be 'adult ready'.

 

I've been reading a bit about the best way to give teenagers money and there seems to be quite a lot of conflicting views on this (as always); some suggest that earning it is definitely best (usual chores plus larger jobs such as cleaning out the fridge if they want to earn extra) while others say that since children don't have to earn the right to a bedroom or meals they shouldn't have to earn their allowance but they should learn to budget the allowance they receive and be aware that there are no subs if they spend it all at once.

 

I'm just wondering what other parents of teenagers did/do?

 

If you come down in favour of the second option how do you decide how much is enough, and would you include club fees in their allowance so that it's up to them to then make sure they can pay for the things they like doing or are clubs still a parent 'thing' and a teenager's allowance is all about the nice extras (cinema, the brand named socks etc).

 

We have a bit of an old fashioned set-up going on in our house - my husband works and I'm a housewife (I stopped working when our first child was born) so I do take responsibility for the household; it's not like I need the children to do the chores because I'm too busy to do them, it's more a matter of them needing to learn how to do them for themselves.

[Blossom]

My step daughter we don't give chores, but that's only because she's not with us enough. She has a set amount of pocket money and that's it. She has to get clothes, phone credit, food when she's out etc all out of that. It was very hard to start with to stop the grandparents giving in when she'd say 'I really want these shoes but I need $40'. We'd say 'you'll have it by next week if you don't spend on anything else, so you can get them then'. Then grandparents would give her the money!

She wanted extra internet in our home so we agreed but said it comes out of her pocket money. A while later (when she'd split from the bf who I think liked to watch lots of videos online' she wanted to stop it, but we can't go back to the price plan we were on, so she'll learn to think things through more.

When my children are big enough there will be a chores list and they will be able to choose what they want to do and they will have different values.

[snifter]

Our son is younger and I only just introduced his first weekly reward chart over the summer holidays.

 

I went with changing the tasks each week but and also expected and explained he would carry on and do the tasks done from the previous week as a given. Although I didn't bust his chops over that if he didn't always manage the ones from the week before as well. However, things like walking the dog I put on each week to ensure that got done without complaint. If there were tasks he then tried to avoid or didn't bother with from other weeks I'd put them back on the list the following week to make sure they would get done

 

For every day he did all the current weeks tasks, there were 3 a day and he got ticks for them all, he would get pocket money added on for the end of the week. If he missed any for any reason within his control (ie avoided it because he wanted to play) he didn't get any money at all for that day. There was no complete 2 out of 3 and still get money. Some days we were out so he didn't get to loading the dishwasher or watering the plants so I'd put a line through and allow that as if it were a tick.

 

Also the other incentive was if every day he did all 3 of his weekly tasks for that week, he earned iPad/computer time for the next day. That was limited strictly based on the tasks being completed. He got annoyed a few times when he didn't get computer time but accepted if he hadn't done his tasks, he wasn't going to get the time. He only did it a few times before he realised he *had* to do those jobs each day to get the time on the computer. By the end of the holidays he was whizzing through his tasks and we've agreed to carry on during term time also in return for earning the computer time. Pocket money in term time is going to be limited to a couple $$ a week and will increase over the holidays when/if he does a bit more and is home more.

 

I know families with teens who have opted to go the family pitch in hour on a weekend or one afternoon after school route and its worked well. Each teen gets given some cleaning supplies and has to go clean their room including vacuuming it, dusting and tidying (and it has to past inspection ). Then they would all pitch in to clean one of the bathrooms/toilets/kitchen or family rooms each. One child per room and parent(s) too, so usually one each (and rotate each week so its all even). Then one would sort the washing with Mum, load it and put it on. The other would then hang it out to dry and bring it in. The other would do something like peel veggies for dinner and help Dad prepare dinner.

 

Once a week the oldest would help Mum cook a meal, something like spag bol or a one pot dish to get him going. Also things like making roast spuds as that is a skill kids should learn. Pancake/batter mix is another easy one. Gradually got into looking at the recipe books to see what they fancied making and giving it a go with Mum around to help out if need be. Worked on the watch one, make one, teach one principle so in the end all the kids could muck in in the kitchen on their own and make tea for the family as they got older.