concieving children ...

[Guest mOZzy]

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and

decided to use a

surrogate father to start their family. On the day

the proxy father was

to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and

said, "Well, I'm off

now. The man should be here soon."

 

 

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door

baby photographer

happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a

sale.

 

 

Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."

 

 

Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,

embarrassed, "I've been

expecting you."

 

 

Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well,

that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"

 

 

Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please

come in and have a

seat"

 

 

After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do

we start?"

 

 

Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the

bath, one on the

couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And

sometimes the living room

floor is fun. You can really spread out there."

 

 

Bath, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work

out for Harry and

me!"

 

 

Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one

time. But if we

try several different positions and I shoot from six

or seven angles,

I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."

 

 

My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.

 

 

Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his

time. I'd love to be in

and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be

disappointed with that."

 

Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.

 

 

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out

a portfolio of his

baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus,"

he said.

 

Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her

throat.

 

And these twins turned out exceptionally well -

when you consider her

mother was so difficult to work with."

 

 

She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

 

Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to

the park to get the

job done right. People were crowding around four and

five deep to get a

good look."

 

Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide

with amazement.

 

Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than

three hours, too.

 

The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I

could hardly

concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to

rush my shots.

Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my

equipment, I just had

to pack it all in."

 

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they

actually chewed on your,

um...equipment?"

 

It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll

set-up my tripod and

we can get to work right away."

 

Tripod?"

 

Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my

Canon on. It's much

too heavy to be held in the hand very long."

 

With that, Mrs. Smith fainted.

[Guest Django]

I refer the honarable member to the previous thread .....

 

http://www.pomsinadelaide.com/forum/showthread.php?t=724

 

I think the Tykester may be suing under the copywrite laws.

[Guest mOZzy]

but honest! then we weren't allowed to write anything at all - because 'the Tykester' has been around soooo long and has (according to others) so much time on his hands that he probably has already written everything possible so far!!!

 

 

and i couldn't find the 'copywrite' anywhere on that post

[Guest Aussiebound]

Very funny - but I thought it sounded familiar!